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  • Funny stories

    Please feel free to post funny stories about various service issues and situations here.Nothing personel and no names where apropiate . Just something that we all can relate to and get a good laugh out of .
    Don't spit in my Bouillabaisse .

  • #2
    Ok I,ll get the ball rolling .A certain two Naval Service persons went out for a few drinks at Fowlys Pub in Ringaskiddy one midweek night ,near to closing time they doubled up on their pints, when they saw the C.I.E bus driver and conductor ramble in for a pint . The double decker bus was sitting outside with the engine running and the heat on and a few passangers onboard waiting for the the bus to take them to Cork City , The two Naval Service lads leave the pub and see the bus just sitting there engine running etc . It being a wet and windy night and the two lads had no form of transport back to the Base they borded the bus and drove it to the Naval Base with the civie passangers on board . As one of them drove the bus the other walked around with the conductors ticket machine cranking out tickets , over the Irish Steel Bridge and park the bus close to the married quaters . Off of the bus the went to the main gate and ramble trough with a helo and how are you doin . Thirty minuites later a Garda car arrives with the two C.I .E busmen in the back and the Garda explained the situation. The duty P/O knew who exactly was involved and rored out ,get me A/B SEA ?and A/SEA so and so ?
    Don't spit in my Bouillabaisse .

    Comment


    • #3
      Click Here. Ohh the memories
      It is only by contemplation of the incompetent that we can appreciate the difficulties and accomplishments of the competent.

      Comment


      • #4
        Maybe this time we'll hear the PDF stories?


        Catch-22 says they have a right to do anything we can't stop them from doing.

        Comment


        • #5
          Try checking Stameens thread on Urban myths. Prob has some stories youy are interested in and im sure pdf were not excluded from it goldie.!!! Unless there is more mod coersion that we have not yet seen?
          Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
          but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other,
          body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming........................
          WOO HOO - What a Ride!" :tri:

          Comment


          • #6
            A certain MEO and Lt CDr engineer held his 50th birthday party in the Eithnes wardroom and the function was being attended by a senior sarcastic sceptical steward . the steward carried out his duties admiably and was getting on with his cleaning up at the end of the night when the officer lurched into the pantry put his arm around the steward and gathered himself for some drink filled words of wisdom.

            'Steward E*****t....what would you wish to be when you reach my age?'

            The steward pondered momentarily........looked the officer in the eye and came the retort' hopefully dead ...sir'



            Fado fado....when god was a boy..an we had a male president.....

            He ventured to the sea for his holidays and to play some golf aboard the LE harbour hotel c/w helicopter.

            The officers were obliged to go and play and the stewards caddied....this shit went on for a week.

            In the evening time the ship would go to anchor and all the Presidents men and the Lords of the upper decks would wine and dine and we lesser mortals had to wear dress uniforms and wash and shave and stop picking our noses.

            On the last night of his visit the lower decks were granted a keg of ale and we duly sat down to finish it.

            Mr President....full to the gills decided to drop in and thank 'the men' who were having a sing song.

            He entered the rec room where he was asked to 'sing the song ..he sang at his mothers wedding' to which muttered something and vanished back to land of gentry. The perpetrator of the crime was a small black haired Leading seaman from Clonmel ....who never made PO...one hell ofa funny guy!
            Covid 19 is not over ....it's still very real..Hand Hygiene, Social Distancing and Masks.. keep safe

            Comment


            • #7
              funny stories

              and just if any body yhinks I'm shitting about that visit heres the photo.
              Covid 19 is not over ....it's still very real..Hand Hygiene, Social Distancing and Masks.. keep safe

              Comment


              • #8
                [QUOTE=Laners]Ok I,ll get the ball rolling .A certain two Naval Service persons went out for a few drinks at Fowlys Pub in Ringaskiddy one midweek night ,near to closing time they doubled up on their pints, when they saw the C.I.E bus driver and conductor ramble in for a pint . The double decker bus was sitting outside with the engine running and the heat on and a few passangers onboard waiting for the the bus to take them to Cork City , The two Naval Service lads leave the pub and see the bus just sitting there engine running etc . It being a wet and windy night and the two lads had no form of transport back to the Base they borded the bus and drove it to the Naval Base with the civie passangers on board . As one of them drove the bus the other walked around with the conductors ticket machine cranking out tickets , over the Irish Steel Bridge and park the bus close to the married quaters . Off of the bus the went to the main gate and ramble trough with a helo and how are you doin . Thirty minuites later a Garda car arrives with the two C.I .E busmen in the back and the Garda explained the situation. The duty P/O knew who exactly was involved and rored out ,get me A/B SEA ?and A/SEA so and so


                QUOTE] Well both of the accused / convicted found themselves confined to Base for a period of time which meant no visits to the Swampers for a pint and had to fall in on duty with the Pionneers on Base to do the various menial tasks , one of which was to assist the unloading of the civvie bread van to the Stores. After completing the delivery the bread van left the base and headed back to the bakery untill the driver heard a banging sound from the back of the van as he was heading trough Ringasiddy.He stops to look in the back of the van and out pops a certain A/B Sea who is on C/D , and rambles into Fowleys for a pint or two.
                I will follow up with later with the story of his arrest etc .
                Don't spit in my Bouillabaisse .

                Comment


                • #9
                  This gets better and better.....I wonder whom the feature A/Seas are?
                  Covid 19 is not over ....it's still very real..Hand Hygiene, Social Distancing and Masks.. keep safe

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by hptmurphy
                    This gets better and better.....I wonder whom the feature A/Seas are?
                    Well the escapee was known as the Tazmanian Devil and was discharged some time later . The Brass in the base waited till the Chaplin Father Michael O Brien was on holidays in the U. S. to get rid of him and a few others who had a drink problem . Father OBrien was one to stand up to to the Brass in situations like this and often managed to block a discharge he felt was unfair . His opinion was that, if someone came into the Service fit /clean / sober etc they should not be discharged due to the failings of the Service to maintain their welfare .
                    Don't spit in my Bouillabaisse .

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Laners
                      Well the escapee was known as the Tazmanian Devil and was discharged some time later . The Brass in the base waited till the Chaplin Father Michael O Brien was on holidays in the U. S. to get rid of him and a few others who had a drink problem . Father OBrien was one to stand up to to the Brass in situations like this and often managed to block a discharge he felt was unfair . His opinion was that, if someone came into the Service fit /clean / sober etc they should not be discharged due to the failings of the Service to maintain their welfare .
                      It sounds like a reverse of "Boys' Town", you've even got a priest running the show!!!
                      "Hello, Good Evening and Bollocks..."

                      Roger Mellie

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        [QUOTE=Laners]
                        Originally posted by Laners
                        Ok I,ll get the ball rolling .A certain two Naval Service persons went out for a few drinks at Fowlys Pub in Ringaskiddy one midweek night ,near to closing time they doubled up on their pints, when they saw the C.I.E bus driver and conductor ramble in for a pint . The double decker bus was sitting outside with the engine running and the heat on and a few passangers onboard waiting for the the bus to take them to Cork City , The two Naval Service lads leave the pub and see the bus just sitting there engine running etc . It being a wet and windy night and the two lads had no form of transport back to the Base they borded the bus and drove it to the Naval Base with the civie passangers on board . As one of them drove the bus the other walked around with the conductors ticket machine cranking out tickets , over the Irish Steel Bridge and park the bus close to the married quaters . Off of the bus the went to the main gate and ramble trough with a helo and how are you doin . Thirty minuites later a Garda car arrives with the two C.I .E busmen in the back and the Garda explained the situation. The duty P/O knew who exactly was involved and rored out ,get me A/B SEA ?and A/SEA so and so


                        QUOTE] Well both of the accused / convicted found themselves confined to Base for a period of time which meant no visits to the Swampers for a pint and had to fall in on duty with the Pionneers on Base to do the various menial tasks , one of which was to assist the unloading of the civvie bread van to the Stores. After completing the delivery the bread van left the base and headed back to the bakery untill the driver heard a banging sound from the back of the van as he was heading trough Ringasiddy.He stops to look in the back of the van and out pops a certain A/B Sea who is on C/D , and rambles into Fowleys for a pint or two.
                        I will follow up with later with the story of his arrest etc .
                        The arreast , and final chapter in the story.
                        The escacapee was enjoying many pints and regaleing all who would listen about his many exploights, and his escape from the Naval Base in the bread van.
                        He drew some suspision due to the fact that he was wearing his fatigues and at 3 P.M The Bar owner called the Base to inform them that they may want to come and collect a certain A/B Sea .
                        They detail headed to the bar consisting of a Leading Hand , two A/B s and a Driver in a Land Rover
                        The two A/Bs lifted the escapee off of his bar stool as he was about to enjoy his next pint of Guniness, one on either side and lifted him offf of his stool, he was airborne with his legs in a sitting position and protesting that he was entitled to finish his drink because he had paid for it .
                        Don't spit in my Bouillabaisse .

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                        • #13
                          His name was XXXX XXXX and he was a good friend of XXXX XXXX
                          Don't spit in my Bouillabaisse .

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I'd edit the names if I was you Laners. You have to play fair by the likes of Boomer who cop the flak if someone takes offence.

                            We are all itching to tell stories. However most can only be authenticated and seperated from hearsay by naming names.

                            It is the board's loss but unfortunatly you have to play safe.

                            Please keep the stories coming if only in an edited version. Particularly stories from the 'sweepers.

                            As a man who trained me once said, "wooden ships and iron men!". He was from the West and a great seaman. Curley black hair and fond of a pint.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I think the former members of the NS ..if the stories are told properly and in the right vein would actually be delighted to be identified as the perpetrators of such deeds.

                              On a different note these purges were not uncommon...as was related to me about a parade in 1974 when the whole Navy were lined up on the square on parade.Certain people were picked out and told to go and draw a weeks wages from the ships office....their services were no longer required...and their careers ended there. This was related to me at my late gran uncles funeral..by a former colleague of his who was also an officer at the time.

                              I was once fortunate to see the detention records from Spike when it was a detention centre for the DF..from the seventies. You wouldn't believe some of the things people were locked up for.And there was a radiator or hot running water or a TV on the whole island.
                              Covid 19 is not over ....it's still very real..Hand Hygiene, Social Distancing and Masks.. keep safe

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