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How to Shine Shoes

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  • How to Shine Shoes

    yay for lifehacker

    "Are they trying to shoot down the other drone? "

    "No, they're trying to fly the tank"

  • #2
    There I was, staring down at my lackluster boots with a sinking feeling in my stomach. It was day two of basic training and we had just been informed that we had one hour to get our boots as shiny as our cadre’s (each looked as if they were covered in glass)…or we weren’t going to like the repercussions. Never in my life had I shined a pair of shoes and now I was under the gun, trying to inconspicuously imitate my roommate who grew up a military brat and had apparently been doing it since he was 5. I learned very quickly how to shine shoes that day…not quickly enough, but that’s another story for another time.

    Chances are, unless you join the military, you will never have to face punishment for not having shiny shoes. Nonetheless, it is a great skill to have in your man arsenal. Whether it’s an upcoming wedding, graduation or simply another day at the office, a pair of shiny shoes can set you apart as a man that knows how to take care of himself.
    Some thing does not ring true here he calls them shoes! and then boots then back to shoes again.

    Major FAIL, talks about shoes, shows boots in the pictures!!!


    He even tells:

    The polish I’m using is black Kiwi Shoe Polish, but be sure to match the color of the polish to your shoe as closely as possible.
    AND
    Make sure you get down in the seams of the shoe and attempt to cover evenly with polish. Allow 15 minutes for the polish to dry.
    Look at the pictures of the finished product, he even failed to do what he is telling others to do!!!!

    Must be a Red Arse

    Connaught Stranger

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    • #3
      You won't find many civvies referring to their footwear as boots. He uses the term "boots" to refer to his army footwear, the kind that you experience discomfort if they're not shiny enough. He uses "shoes" to refer to civilian footwear. In any case, it doesn't really matter, the process is the same whether you're bulling shoes, boots, or a Sam Browne (cough cough hint hint RDF officers)

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      • #4
        Officers don't shine their shoes.









        They have someone do it for them.


        Catch-22 says they have a right to do anything we can't stop them from doing.

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        • #5
          Shoes being the American term whether they be boots or shoes, The Boots themselves are similar Assault Patter 91 British Standard issue boot .

          He got the baisics right , the photo doesn't credit the effort but does make the crictal points.
          Covid 19 is not over ....it's still very real..Hand Hygiene, Social Distancing and Masks.. keep safe

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Goldie fish View Post
            Officers don't shine their shoes.
            They have someone do it for them.
            Surely thats only if they're Lt Col or higher? Batman to the rescue

            I vaguely remember a Comdt in the curragh getting in trouble over ordering a private to polish his shoes. Whether this is true, or just wishful remembering on my part, I'm sure someone will let me know!
            CRIME SCENE INSTIGATOR

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            • #7
              Boot polishing of any kind isn't much valued by the American military these days anyway. Desert boots in ACUs, and lots of patent leather in other forms of dress. USMC officers can occasionally be seen wearing patent leather sam brownes (which totally doesn't make them look like stripograms, no, not at all..........).

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              • #8
                Originally posted by REX View Post
                Surely thats only if they're Lt Col or higher? Batman to the rescue

                I vaguely remember a Comdt in the curragh getting in trouble over ordering a private to polish his shoes. Whether this is true, or just wishful remembering on my part, I'm sure someone will let me know!
                dont kno if its the same incident i witnessed ,but the private's c.s. told the officer where to go with his boots . The officer had thrown his boots at the private and told him to clean them, the private went to his c.s. about the incident .
                Anyone need a spleen ?

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                • #9
                  How about we get transport to get sweeper vans and they can shine real soldiers boots as they pass them himping their packs up to cemetery hill.

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