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  • On Leaving the Military

    is guide will assist you in your efforts to 'Fit In' with civilians, when you leave the forces.
    Speech:


    Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred, it is not 0530 or 1400 it is 5:30 am or 2 in the afternoon.
    Words like "deck", "scratcher", and "PT" will get you weird looks; floor, bed, workout - get used to it.
    F****ing cannot be used to replace whatever work you can't think of right now, try "um" instead.
    It's a phone, not a radio, conversations on a phone do not end in "out".
    Style:
    Do not put creases in your jeans. Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts. Do not refer to your suits numerically, your best jacket & trousers are not your number1's. Wearing a hat indoors does not make you a bad person, it makes you like the rest of the world. You do not have to wear a belt ALL the time.
    Women:
    Air Force girls are easy, very easy, not all women are this easy and will probably punch you in the nuts if you treat them like Air Force girls.
    Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first. Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense", it makes you a retard.
    Personal Accomplishments:
    In the real world, being able to do lots of press-ups will not lead to automatic promotion or help your career in any way. The time you got really drunk and sucked your mates cock in the middle of a bar..... also not a personal accomplishment.
    Drinking:
    NATO is an organisation, not the way you want your tea made. In the real world being drunk before 5pm will get you a written warning, not a pat on the back from your boss. Shouting "Naked Bar" at your works Chrismas Party will have no effect. That time you drank a bottle o Absinthe and shat in your plas suitcase is not a conversation starter. That time you went to combat life saver school and practiced giving vodka iv's will probably not impress a civilian.
    Bodily Functions:
    Farting on your co-workers and giggling while you walk away may be viewed as "unprofessional". The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny regardless of how bit was, how much it burned, how much it smelled....or how clear the photo is. VD will also not be funny.
    The Human Body:
    Most people will not want to hear about or see your balls. Odd as that may seem, its true. If your anus is sore, don't ask your colleague on the next desk if he can see what's wrong with it.
    Real Jobs:
    They really can fire you - on the flip side you really can quit. Screaming at the people tht work for you will not be normal. You can't tell your secretary to "follow it down" if she drops her pen and taking naps at work is not acceptable. Sport is no longer part of your working week.
    General Knowledge:
    Pain is not weakness leaving the body, it's just pain.
    They won't wear anything shiny that tells you that they are more important than you are. Read contracts before you sign them, remember what happened the first time.
    Covid 19 is not over ....it's still very real..Hand Hygiene, Social Distancing and Masks.. keep safe

  • #2
    +1
    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to ring them at 4am!!

    Comment


    • #3
      F*ck is not to be used as a verb noun and adjective.
      Heat seeker and me feinerism may not be understood as being a terribly bad thing.
      Someone is "new to a position" not a redarse
      Nudity in the workplace is frowned upon,
      Black tape will not fix everything.
      "Many a time a man's mouth broke his nose"

      "Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view."

      Comment


      • #4
        "say again" has crept into civvy street though. I had people giving me strange looks in work though when I referred to something as "buckshee"


        Catch-22 says they have a right to do anything we can't stop them from doing.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Goldie fish View Post
          "say again" has crept into civvy street though. I had people giving me strange looks in work though when I referred to something as "buckshee"
          Yes, it has, and without the word "OVER" after it, when people use it when talking to me,
          it actually gets on my tits big time....
          "Well, stone me! We've had cocaine, bribery and Arsenal scoring two goals at home. But just when you thought there were truly no surprises left in football, Vinnie Jones turns out to be an international player!" (Jimmy Greaves)!"

          Comment


          • #6
            Well TD why not broaden their horizons with:

            "say again all after"
            "say again all before"

            and imagine what that can do for your tits
            I'm not a number, I'm a free man.
            Who is number 1?

            Comment


            • #7
              and still give the chop when needing to indicate something.
              Ah,the depot hand.I'm a bastard for it myself
              "Let us be clear about three facts. First, all battles and all wars are won in the end by the infantryman. Secondly, the infantryman always bears the brunt. His casualties are heavier, he suffers greater extremes of discomfort and fatigue than the other arms. Thirdly, the art of the infantryman is less stereotyped and far harder to acquire in modern war than that of any other arm." ------- Field Marshall Wavell, April 1945.

              Comment


              • #8
                i never throw anything out i "wadi" it esp if its "Bckshee" or "U/S".

                My poor dog even knows what "yala imshi" means lol.

                (apologies for the spelling)
                Anyone need a spleen ?

                Comment


                • #9
                  I'm a bugger for "squaring things away" and making sure things (not necessarily people) are "happy enough"
                  I knew a simple soldier boy.....
                  Who grinned at life in empty joy,
                  Slept soundly through the lonesome dark,
                  And whistled early with the lark.

                  In winter trenches, cowed and glum,
                  With crumps and lice and lack of rum,
                  He put a bullet through his brain.
                  And no one spoke of him again.

                  You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye
                  Who cheer when soldier lads march by,
                  Sneak home and pray you'll never know
                  The hell where youth and laughter go.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I am forever harping on at the wife to no avail that

                    kit not in use should be packec away and ready for a qucik bug out-

                    And when people ask me for directions I always go- Look left ....
                    Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
                    Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
                    The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere***
                    The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
                    The best lack all conviction, while the worst
                    Are full of passionate intensity.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      "Clear to port" was an accepted phrase in a Garda Patrol car when given by the Observer when emerging from a junction.
                      However it is met with confusion when doing same in my current occupation.


                      Catch-22 says they have a right to do anything we can't stop them from doing.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Just realised my 2 yo is gonna be screwed up. At feeding time he's told to "Tallahun", to get a move on "ar sudar" and so on.
                        Anyone need a spleen ?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I still talk about 'decks' as opposed to floors.

                          Gash as opposed to rubbish...and can clear a plate of food faster than most I know having often lost out on meals due to boarding stations.

                          I'm not allowed have bread and butter with my dinner, wife doesn't like the idea of the dinner being made into a sandwich...

                          I can still shave with cold water and snatch sleep for short amounts of time and come back refreshed.
                          Covid 19 is not over ....it's still very real..Hand Hygiene, Social Distancing and Masks.. keep safe

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by hptmurphy View Post
                            Gash as opposed to rubbish...
                            When I sailed on the LE Niamh last year I saw Black Gash labeled on the recycling bins had to ask one of the crew what it was, never heard of it before.
                            Last edited by Rhodes; 9 April 2011, 22:03.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I "box off" things fairly frequently in my job, as I'm sure many of you do in yours...
                              "Well, stone me! We've had cocaine, bribery and Arsenal scoring two goals at home. But just when you thought there were truly no surprises left in football, Vinnie Jones turns out to be an international player!" (Jimmy Greaves)!"

                              Comment

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