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How has the army changed you?

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  • How has the army changed you?

    For me it has increased my level of swearing vocabulary to astonishing levels and i can barely utter a single sentence without throwing in a f**k or c**t.
    I drink far more than i ever did before joining and i can now clear the ten pint mark with disturbing speed on any night out.
    My standards in women have also taken a severe nosedive, possibly aided by by my new found skills in the previous paragraph.

    Saying that im now fitter than i have ever been, my confidence in myself has increased markedly in the last few years and i tend not to worry about small insignificant things anymore

    Have any of you been changed by your time in the defence forces?
    Religion is like a puddle thinking that the hole in the ground that it sits in is so perfect for it that some higher being must have created it

  • #2
    I'm better, stronger, faster.
    It is only by contemplation of the incompetent that we can appreciate the difficulties and accomplishments of the competent.

    Comment


    • #3
      I have never been more sexy.
      To close with and kill the enemy in all weather conditions, night and day and over any terrain

      Comment


      • #4
        i see dead people
        :confused: ONCE YOU HAVE THEM BY THE BALLS , THEN YOU CAN WIN THEIR HEARTS AND MINDS ! :

        Comment


        • #5
          I was very nieve when i joined even through recruits, but I have to say within a month of joining my first ship (LE Deirdre) the rest of the mechs on board turned me into something parents warned their daughters about .

          Commando69 "My standards in women have also taken a severe nosedive, possibly aided by by my new found skills in the previous paragraph."

          These women saved us from many a bad night when fluff was scarce . We were always taught any port in a storm .

          DBC taught me well
          sparky
          shock junky
          Last edited by sparky; 13 October 2006, 08:43.
          "Let no mans ghost come back to say my training let him down"

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Bam Bam View Post
            I'm better, stronger, faster.
            wow really?
            Where you in an electric wheelchair when you joined?

            I can shout like a real man now, as a result I can Karaoke barry white songs.

            rain doesnt bother me, i fold up anything thats too long with black tape (straps on my laptop bag), repeatedly call my main office HQ and im always on time.

            I no longer get embarassed by conversations involving cursing, swearing or the mentioning of various bodily actions / parts in-front of female comrades.
            "He is an enemy officer taken in battle and entitled to fair treatment."
            "No, sir. He's a sergeant, and they don't deserve no respect at all, sir. I should know. They're cunning and artful, if they're any good. I wouldn't mind if he was an officer, sir. But sergeants are clever."

            Comment


            • #7
              Could we please have the opinions of the guys who have joined the PDF in the recent past rather than some walters whittering on.....about their fanatasy world in the RDF.

              Sparky....you really speak the truth lol
              Covid 19 is not over ....it's still very real..Hand Hygiene, Social Distancing and Masks.. keep safe

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by hptmurphy View Post
                Could we please have the opinions of the guys who have joined the PDF in the recent past rather than some walters whittering on.....about their fanatasy world in the RDF.
                Did you consider the notion that they might be taking the piss?

                Lighten up Francis.
                "The dolphins were monkeys that didn't like the land, walked back to the water, went back from the sand."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Could we please have the opinions of the guys who have joined the PDF in the recent past rather than some walters whittering on.....about their fanatasy world in the RDF.
                  No, I really DO salute my boss.

                  Francis

                  Now, THIS is waltering....

                  Let me tell you how life in the RDF has helped me save lives and pull birds.


                  Today I was walking up Grafton street when all of a sudden these 2 terrorists were running towards me, they were carrying AK47 rifles and each had a swag bag they'd taken from the securicor van they'd just blown up with an IED planted in a corporation bin.

                  I hid behind the telegraph pole and as the second guy came past i stuck my foot out, i tripped him up and with a sickening snap he crunched head first into the pavement with a broken neck.

                  I stepped over his prone form, picked up the rifle and lay down behind the body.Using my special RDF skills I got into the proper firing position for the AK47 (learned from my weapons familiarity training with "The Wing"), and screamed at the other terrorist to stop where he was.

                  He dived John Woo style and as he spun through the air he peppered the ground infont of me with rounds.

                  I returned aimed shots in controlled bursts and rolled away to the corner of wicklow street. Peeking out I could see he had grabbed some poor unfortunate hot looking blonde girl modelling in a bikini outside BT2 and used her as a human shield.

                  What was I going to do? Just as my training had taught me to do in any hostage situation, I walked calmy around the corner as he smiled that knowing smile that says "Allah jihad mohammed durka durka" (translation, "by God your a dead man", I forgot to mention that I have also learned arabic in the RDF as part of my escape and evasion training for our coming invasion of Syria and Israel)

                  He instructed me to lay down my weapon. I did so and continued to walk towards him. He pushed the girl away and aimed his rifle in an attempt to kill her. I had mere seconds to react, I remembered the teachings of my army knife throwing instructor when down on the knife fighting course in Limerick as I slowly grabbed the kBar, gently eased it from my back pocket and with a deft underhand swing the knife flashed across the 12 feet seperating us, embedding itself under his chin with a meaty smack.

                  His head snapped back and he fell lifeless to the ground, the distraught girl, obviously impressed by my new found manliness, threw herself into my arms.

                  The RDF trainng had saved the day and I had got the girl.


                  That was an extract from my new book, "Black Zone and the Stranahealy Stranger Wing".
                  I will be signing copies in Hughes and Hughes, St Stephens Green today at 1pm.
                  RDF/PDF get to pay 10% extra.
                  morpheus
                  Space Lord of Terra
                  Last edited by morpheus; 13 October 2006, 11:33.
                  "He is an enemy officer taken in battle and entitled to fair treatment."
                  "No, sir. He's a sergeant, and they don't deserve no respect at all, sir. I should know. They're cunning and artful, if they're any good. I wouldn't mind if he was an officer, sir. But sergeants are clever."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Fair fecks morpheus. Good drills all round.
                    To close with and kill the enemy in all weather conditions, night and day and over any terrain

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      that was more interesting and better written then "Andy Mcnabb" or "Chris Ryans" stuff
                      Dr. Venture: Why is it every time I need to get somewhere, we get waylaid by jackassery?

                      Dr. Venture: Dean, you smell like a whore

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Probably more factual also...


                        Catch-22 says they have a right to do anything we can't stop them from doing.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by morpheus View Post
                          No, I really DO salute my boss.

                          Francis

                          Now, THIS is waltering....

                          Let me tell you how life in the RDF has helped me save lives and pull birds.


                          Today I was walking up Grafton street when all of a sudden these 2 terrorists were running towards me, they were carrying AK47 rifles and each had a swag bag they'd taken from the securicor van they'd just blown up with an IED planted in a corporation bin.

                          I hid behind the telegraph pole and as the second guy came past i stuck my foot out, i tripped him up and with a sickening snap he crunched head first into the pavement with a broken neck.

                          I stepped over his prone form, picked up the rifle and lay down behind the body.Using my special RDF skills I got into the proper firing position for the AK47 (learned from my weapons familiarity training with "The Wing"), and screamed at the other terrorist to stop where he was.

                          He dived John Woo style and as he spun through the air he peppered the ground infont of me with rounds.

                          I returned aimed shots in controlled bursts and rolled away to the corner of wicklow street. Peeking out I could see he had grabbed some poor unfortunate hot looking blonde girl modelling in a bikini outside BT2 and used her as a human shield.

                          What was I going to do? Just as my training had taught me to do in any hostage situation, I walked calmy around the corner as he smiled that knowing smile that says "Allah jihad mohammed durka durka" (translation, "by God your a dead man", I forgot to mention that I have also learned arabic in the RDF as part of my escape and evasion training for our coming invasion of Syria and Israel)

                          He instructed me to lay down my weapon. I did so and continued to walk towards him. He pushed the girl away and aimed his rifle in an attempt to kill her. I had mere seconds to react, I remembered the teachings of my army knife throwing instructor when down on the knife fighting course in Limerick as I slowly grabbed the kBar, gently eased it from my back pocket and with a deft underhand swing the knife flashed across the 12 feet seperating us, embedding itself under his chin with a meaty smack.

                          His head snapped back and he fell lifeless to the ground, the distraught girl, obviously impressed by my new found manliness, threw herself into my arms.

                          The RDF trainng had saved the day and I had got the girl.


                          That was an extract from my new book, "Black Zone and the Stranahealy Stranger Wing".
                          I will be signing copies in Hughes and Hughes, St Stephens Green today at 1pm.
                          RDF/PDF get to pay 10% extra.


                          Brilliant.

                          Confidence has been my big change. Nothin like gettin up in front of a class for the first time to put the shits up you. The knife throwing training though really gets ya believing in your own ability .
                          Trouble, Trouble, I tried to chase trouble but its chasing me.
                          Trouble, trouble, trouble with a capitol T
                          do do do do do do do da do do do. etc etc......

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            2 new scars, and the memory of a "volatile" stomach infection
                            Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

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                            • #15
                              excellant Morph

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